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Are You Really Happy or Simply Pretending?

April 9, 2019
By Anesa McGregor , Emmetsburg News

We've all come across those people, the ones who are just overflowing with happiness and cheerfulness. The kind of people I look at and think, "No one can be that happy."

Some people pretend to be happy on the surface even though they are not happy inside. For whatever reason, they are only pretending to be happy because they are trying to mask the sadness they truly feel.

I've pretended to be many things and many different people throughout my life, including a content and happy individual. Although looking back I was only fooling myself. So many people are pretending to be happy and telling our friends about our great life; we end up cheating ourselves out of true happiness.

Being truly happy and trying to make others think you are happy can be exhausting and they look similar. If you pay close attention, the signs are there for you to see that you are only pretending to be happy. There will always be an awkward feeling that something isn't quite right in your life.

Besides the feeling of something not being quite right, there are some other signs that you can see to help you get to the bottom of the reason you are pretending to be happy.

1.You are always positive. It's not wrong or a bad thing to be positive. What you will notice is people who pretend to be happy will usually be excessively positive with huge smiles and cheerful voices. Being positive isn't bad but in someone pretending to be happy it will be noticeably abnormal compared to someone who is truly happy. Also, they will deny any form of negativity even if it's warranted.

2.Pushing people away. This is something everyone pretending to be happy will do. It will be noticeable, and you will begin spending more and more time alone.

3.Mood swings don't always happen due to hormonal changes or disorders. Sometimes, mood swings happen because of the emotional pain you are in and the fact that you are trying to hide your pain. Typically, mood swings are experienced when you are trying your hardest to pretend to be happy. Emotions do not like to stay hidden. Sometimes you want to scream; instead you smile and hide the pain and emptiness inside. One way or another, mood swings will become random and could be severe.

4.Spending way too much time looking at your phone, television or the computer is a way to keep your mind distracted from the real issue(s) that are causing your unhappiness. Not enough people are walking away from a screen to examine the reason for your sadness.

5.Bragging about fake accomplishments is a way to make life fulfilling and interesting not only to others but to yourself.

6.Living in the past becomes a normal routine for someone pretending to be happy. You may sit for hours thinking about lost loved ones or failed relationships. While there is nothing wrong with reminiscing about past times, someone pretending to be happy can use the past as a hiding place from the real problem.

You can stop pretending. The first step to getting better is recognize there is a problem. After you understand what is causing issues with your happiness, you can begin the process of cultivating true happiness.

Finding true happiness is not possible unless you are honest with your feelings and get rid of negativity in your life causing you to be unhappy. Remember, there is always hope even when things seem darkest.

When I came to realize I was pretending to be happy and I could admit it was a cover-up for something I didn't want to face, I could begin the process of becoming truly happy.

For me, my pretending began when I had a traumatic experience at a young age. I felt cheated out of the childhood I was supposed to have because of a great loss. It was just easier to fake being happy than to explain what was happening.



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